We tasted all four mushroom chocolate bars in one sitting, blind, with the food & water guide’s rules followed (real meal before, water close, no other substances). These are the notes and the ranking — including which one is dairy-free and which one is the crossover pick.
The four bars
1. Cookies & Cream
Creamy dark chocolate with crushed cookie pieces — the texture is the whole point. The dark base is bittersweet rather than bitter, and the cookie pieces are frequent enough to make every bite a different bite. The most “dessert” of the four. Shop it.
2. Dark Chocolate Orange
The connoisseur’s bar: high-cocoa dark with candied orange, astringent up front, bright through, long finish. The only dairy-free bar in the line (by formulation — facility allergen details on the allergy page). The flavor that makes chocolate the “adult” format. Shop it.
3. Strawberry Crunch
Silky milk chocolate, real strawberry pieces, a shatter-crisp crunch. The most approachable base in the line — the flavor first-timers ask for, and the reason the gummy-vs-chocolate guide points crossover customers here. Shop it.
4. Milk Chocolate
The purest expression: clean, high-quality milk chocolate with nothing added and everything removed. The least opinionated bar, and the one that makes the “just chocolate” case. Shop it.
The ranking (taste)
- Dark Chocolate Orange — the most distinctive
- Cookies & Cream — the most satisfying
- Strawberry Crunch — the most approachable
- Milk Chocolate — the most pure
The ride
All four share the slower chocolate curve: 60–90 minute onset, a broader peak, 4–6 hours total. The format difference is in the comparison guide; the dosing-by-the-square math is in the FAQ. Stack a bar with a gummy pouch and you’re across the free-shipping line — the savings math is the best part of the cart.